Embrace it & Move on

Since my first post about a week ago, I have been asked what pushed me to ‘the brink’ in the first place. So I guess I’m having to explore some ‘issues’. I think there are 2 main reasons why I considered a return to relaxer.

1. Ease of styling & management – I was absolutely convinced that my hair would be easier to manage on a day to day basis. So rather than spend 30mins to an hour twisting or otherwise preparing my hair for tomorrow’s style, with a relaxer I could just wrap and hit the pillow. I also felt I could be more spontaneous with my styling. If I fancied a different style in the morning I could just flat iron into the desired style, in minutes. I would still conclude today that relaxed hair is easier to manage on a day to day basis, but it is high maintenance in a different way. When my hair was relaxed I would be at the hair dressers every 2 -3 weeks for a moisture infusing treatment, necessary to keep relaxed hair adequately moisturised to avoid breakage and that limp lack luster look.

2. The more acceptable, neat, tidy look – this is very much the vulnerability that the hair industry preys on. We have long been taught that a ‘well put together’ look is always topped with straight, sleek hair. While I do enjoy a straight look occasionally, it really isn’t worth the time, money and health risks associated with a relaxer. There are many neat, tidy and red carpet ready natural hair styles. We just don’t see them often, although the tide is certainly turning. From banks to furniture retailers, black hair in it’s natural state is being featured in a TV ad near you. I am really enjoying this natural black hair renaissance we are currently in and seeing images of naturall girls and women on TV is really encouraging. It reassures the most reluctant naturals it’s ok to ‘go with the fro’. Personally, the more of these images I see, the more confident I am about wearing my hair in its natural state and basking in the glory of my growing afro.

I wanted desperately to return to relaxed hair so that I wouldn’t stand out at work or in a social context. I rightly thought (at the risk of sounding dramatic), I would be judged just because my hair was different. And I have had people wanting to touch my hair because it’s ‘so different’. Some people react positively to my natural hair and others are confused as to why I won’t relax or straighten it in some way.

I am a natural because it’s who I am. 

x